can you do this asap The following sentences need to be revi

can you do this asap

The following sentences need to be revised before being included in a memo or letter. (1) Identify the weakness in each statement, and then (2) revise acoordingly. For example, you would revise the accusatory You weve not very ciear to We dio not wnderstand your message. a. I need all the information you have about methane-powered engnes b. You people have sent me the wrong software! c.Itis imperative that you let me know of your decision by January 15 d. I have become cognizant of your experiments and wish to ask your advice about the following procedure. e. You will find the following instructions easy enough for an ape to follow 1. As per your request I am sending the country map. g. I am in hopes that you will cal soon. h. We beg to differ with your interpretation of this leasing clause

Solution

Ans:

A. disadvantage: At the first order it seems like, you are asking all the information about the person not the product.

Revised Sentence: ­ I need all the information about methane-powered engines.

B. Disadvantage:  Again, the sentence emphasizes more on subject rather than the object. Moreover, the sentence should have been written in a passive voice

Revised Sentence: The software that we have received is wrong.

C. Disadvantage: The sentence is too wordy

Revised sentence: Let me know your decision by January 15

D. Disadvantage: The link between the two sentences isn’t fully established

Revised sentence: I need some advice regarding the procedure, although I have become knowledgeable of your experiments.